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March 2017
Sexology
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COUPLES AND SEXUALITY

Sex is a fundamental ingredient in every relationship.

Sex can be a good sign of the intimacy that exists between a couple and it shows how feelings of love and desire go hand in hand, which makes a big contribution to the harmony of a relationship. However, sex in a relationship is not always a good thing.

In many relationships, sex has other meanings, making its non-sexual functions stand out. There are those who assign sex to the function of sleeping, being a sedative, an antidepressant and even a moment of reassurance or possession. In the latter case, sex is like a time bomb that is unlikely to bring about pleasure, and therefore harmony, for either of the individuals.

Making a distinction between sex and sexuality

Many couples have sex without being able to experience pleasurable sensuousness, which is made up of ingredients which go way beyond intercourse alone and which respect all of the moments leading up to it: games, communication and intimacy. Amongst these couples are those in which sex has a remedial function following bitter arguments and consequential tensions. There are also couples in which one of the partners considers sex to be a way to prove how much he/she loves the other person. In summary, despite the fact that sex is necessary for the life of a couple, it is not enough on its own. However, it is recommended that sex is given the space, attention and care it deserves because it plays a role in a couple’s pleasure and happiness. Sensuousness is actually formed outside of the bed in a couple’s everyday life, thus it is very unlikely that sensuousness is present when clashes, hostility and struggles for power or struggles to assert roles are common between partners.

Evidently, situations in which couples no longer have sex and, subsequently, are no longer intimate, are more problematic. This detachment, which is the result of emotional disengagement which feeds the problem, pushes the two people further apart from one another, even in everyday things.

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